Where his Ashes Rest
by MistyWing
Summary: The son, born from their love, is testament of the past. For the son, the path to return his father to his aloof and estranged mother unravels the tale of forbidden love.
1. The Son 0

Comments: Welcome back to the dreary, the dark, and the terrible face of this world. Here's a continuation of CCS in which the ending isn't quite a 'happily ever after,' but dances around that 'happily ever after.' The final chapter is done and the middle is still cooking slowly. This is still an SxS type, (thus I'm honoring the loyalty I have to this ship), only every other chapter will be in the voice of their beloved son. We will be jumping back and forth between the present and past. The forbidden love of two souls will be the center of the past and the reaquaintence of these unfortunate souls will be the end and beginning of the present. Enjoy and review…

Standard Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura solely belongs to CLAMP. All characters, except for one, belong to them. The only things I can rightfully claim are the plot and protagonist.

_Where his Ashes Rest_

**By MistyWing**

I remember my father's dying words; they were the only expressive words he said to me in all the thirty-five years I belonged to him. He had been a good father, but he treated me like a trophy he owned. He trapped me in his tough love even though I never hated him for it. He was a discreet father, doting on the sidelines, demanding on the field. He had always shown me some form of fondness, but before I could return the favor, he usually withdrew from me. He couldn't do anything when he was bedridden and sick.

He spoke with urgency, almost begging, through an unrecognizable rasp webbed with suffering.

How disease could deteriorate the strongest man I knew. Ten tumors to the pancreas and he went out faster than the blink of an eye, defying the claims the doctor made about a four month life expectancy. The crazed look he gave me in his golden amber eyes told me he had been done trying to live a long time ago; no more chemotherapy, no more pain medicine, and no more pain to the hypothetical heart. Yes, he told me in a desperate gasp… "Please, forgive her. Don't hate her."

The pain had been so deep that the cut only crusted over since early childhood. Those dying words reopened the cut that never mended.

"Of course, Dad." People were measured by their actions and not by their words. My dad gave me the keen eye, expecting me to live up to the saying. I never did return him that reassuring look because the reaper came for him the very moment our eyes connected. That was the last and final thing he said to me.

"…For your mother and her surviving relatives…"

I suddenly jerked from my chair and jerked from that vivid memory of my dying father. Blanked faced, spaced out son of a dead financial tycoon, clumsily spilling the coffee over my aunt's desk of scattered documents, I was prepared for that stern earful from her.

"Good grief! You didn't hear a word I said," Meilin crossly stated.

I quickly wiped down her desk with Kleenex. I yanked out all the tissues from the box and tossed them onto the table. Each one fluttered before landing on the wet spots. I was only making the mess on her desk worse by adding sodden scraps of tissue paper.

"Enough! Enough! I'll ask the secretary to clean it up. Let's move into the conference room." She gathered her important papers and ushered me into the next room.

This woman was a lawyer and a spinster. She wrote my father's will and she loved my father. Although she was blood related, all my first cousins and I called her Auntie. Technically she was just a first cousin, once removed. I had a rather large extended family and no siblings. I grew up with only cousins that have been like siblings to me through the play days. Auntie and my grandmother brought me up in a rather frigid environment my father established, by giving me the maternal love and consideration I needed. My grandmother died three years ago and the lost left a giant hole in my heart. And, now, three years later, her only son followed her. His death did not quite leave a hole in my heart, but I feel as if something was missing; something that was similar to the sandbags under my clothes he used to bound to my legs and arms during my everyday life (as a part of stamina training). The only person who was in my childhood, adolescence, and was still alive, was the woman that was right now sitting before me.

"The chains were loosened when the new head of the elders took over. But now, the chains are completely gone since the death of your father. By tradition alone and not by law, your place as head is instated. You won't find anything about the clan on the will. Just the usual concerns are brought up; estates, investments, and personal items…"

I ran both my hands through my unkempt chestnut hair. "Woah, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. _What_ about my mother and…"

Meilin's eyes flared. "I'm starting from the top as I've noticed you turn a deaf ear to everything and anything I say about the will! You shut your trap and just listen!"

I take a seat in the armchair and expose myself to her sizzling temper. She continued, but this time more calmly. "As the executor of your father's will, you will be the one distributing his belongings. I hope you have read those documents I sent you because along with them I attached a list of instructions that your father gave you. The instructions are not signed and notarized because they were written in your father's hand when he was bedridden. Your mother-"

People knew how I would react when the particular woman in my life-that didn't give a care about my life, but was no less the one that did me a rite by bringing me into the world-was mentioned in my presence. I think I blanched because Auntie cast me a wary look before proceeding. "Your mother and her father are in the wishes and the will. So is your uncle, Touya."

"Dad put a dead man in there?"

"He had specific instructions, so I ask that you please, respect your dead father and dead uncle."

I folded my hands in front of me and politely looked up at her. Some say that I resembled the stiff, direct, and authoritative personality of my father. Some say that I was like the smart, agile, yet clumsy model of my mother. I never knew who to believe or what to believe. I never knew how much of me belonged to my father's side or my mother's side; or if I fell equally to both sides. Personally, I try not to think about it or I try not to get particularly angry at those who bring up the question.

"…Your mother will be phoned about your arrival in Japan ahead of time…"

I, dumbfounded, blinked at Meilin. "Don't give the woman a heart attack. She hasn't seen me in thirty-two-years, three months, and fifteen days."

Meilin looked at me. "I see, you still count every passing day she has missed."

"That's because I care even though caring comes from my end and my end alone."

Meilin sighed. "Don't begrudge her; she's still your mother under all circumstances. Remember what your father said to you?"

I gave a cynical bark of laughter. "You mean forgive and forget, right?"

Meilin stood from her chair and walked around the table towards me. Her hands settle around my broad shoulders as she spoke into my ear. "You might actually begin to forgive if you know their story."

"Are you really going to tell me after all these years?" I asked, rotating my head slightly to look at her. I just couldn't believe it.

"I will tell you because your father wanted me to. It's one of his many dying wishes."


	2. Sakura & Syaoran 0

Conception was the law of nature and the law of bonding; love was unequal. That was what made the act simple and straightforward.

Childbirth was the introduction of life to civilization and society. The inhabitants who standardize society within civilization analyzed and thought too much. That was why life, new or old, was not so simple and straightforward.

Chop down and split these lives and they separate the woman and the men, the rich and the poor, the powerful and the weak, the magical and the normal, the smart and the dumb, the able and the unable, the easy and the hard. That brought back the simplicity of life because dichotomies were simple and straightforward.

"Ridiculous!" Sakura Kinomoto hollered as she read the letter aloud.

Syaoran Li was frowning over another letter that he was skimming as he paced behind her.

"I don't want to say this about your relatives, Syaoran-kun, but they are unadulterated EVIL."

"What do you expect from a bunch of old geezers; and I thought your brother was bad when he accidentally found out we were pregnant?"

"Onii-chan only threatened you for nine months. After the delivery, Onii-chan turned into the mushiest uncle only nightmares elicited."

Syaoran grimaced. "Those nine months were heinous and I'm comparing _then, _with Touya to_ now,_ with the elders; same level of EVIL if you ask me."

"You really think so?" She sifted through a pile of letters and found the one she was looking for. "How about this; 'A son [firstborn] out of wedlock at the age of seventeen is not moral. It is testimony of delinquency and fornication.'"

"We got that one when you were just a few weeks pregnant."

"Yeah, and two weeks later I got this one," she snapped, snatching the next letter from the same pile, "'A man was born to plant the seed and the woman was born to bear the product. Forget the woe of pain during these months, Mistress… There could be no such thing as love in sex between teenagers; just obligation.'"

Syaoran tore the letter in his hand in half. "Enough!"

"Syaoran!" Sakura shouted, saving the parchment from further mistreatment. She put it back together with some scotch tape. "This was the one they wrote to you around the time the baby was born; 'she may be Mistress, but you cannot keep her for your pleasure when you have obligations to your family and now, your son. Your blood and your son's blood are thicker than hers because this is the power bestowed upon you and him by birth.' You know 'til this day they still refer to me as Mistress. I don't think they mean Clow Mistress."

"I don't want to be reminded of them every waking moment of my life when I'm not around them. Why are you digging this crap up again?"

"I wasn't digging it up again. I was just putting the new one in and organizing the rest in chronological order."

"Where's the kid?"

"Shopping with your mother."

She placed the earliest letter on top of one pile and stacked the piles one over the other. She then replaced them in the shoe box, with the letter of today lying neatly on the top. Sakura crouched on all fours under the desk and pulled out another shoe box. She dug around that shoe box and produced Syaoran's promise ring to her, her baby's lock of hair, a locket that belonged to her mother, and a jade bracelet that was a gift from Yelan. Lining these items on the floor, she looked up at Syaoran and smiled. "Some things are kept to remind me of the GOOD."

Sakura shifted through other treasures in the box. Her hand only paused to pull out a laminated photo that they took back at her house five years ago. It was a photo of Touya, Fujitaka, Yue, Kero, Tomoyo, Sonomi, and her at her sixteenth birthday party. Syaoran remembered being the one taking that photo.

"You miss them," The statement was a half query.

"As much as I would miss you if I had not followed you here three years ago."

Syaoran cradled her in his arm as he whispered gently to her. "We can take another vacation there this summer."

"And have you miss out on work? Naw, I rather wait until Christmas when Touya and Yukito can fly over to come see us. Followed by Tomoyo and her entourage. Otou-san will show up last just because of the Dig. My great grandfather might be coming as well."

"Christmas is more than half a year away."

She sighed in content. "I can wait as long as I have you and our son."

Then, she gathered her things and returned them under the desk. She left the letters in the box on the nightstand for bed-time reading later on. As she crossed their room to exit, she half turned to tell him, "I'm going to help Lim [the hired cook] with dinner tonight."

He nodded. "I'll come, too." He glanced at the top letter in the box before following Sakura out. Syaoran glimpsed the bold words penned by the head of the elders, 'Your marriage is denied again by the counsel. Such a final judgment is for the interests of our clan.'

Short of the next Christmas, the family met the fringe of destruction. It would have been another normal weekday if it weren't for Sakura's fever. Upon her request, she had Syaoran go to work as usual. After he left, it was his mother who took over the sick. On occasion, Meilin would show up to let her know what her son was up to as she recuperated. It was best to keep the toddler out of the sick room in case he might catch what she had.

Sometime in the middle of the day, when her fever had pretty much subsided, Yelan brought in a bowl of porridge to her. She placed the bowl on the night stand and settled her hand to the girl's forehead, feeling for heat. Sakura's taut skin was cooler to the touch now and Yelan leaned down to plant a tender kiss there. As she did so, her toe hit something that stuck out from under the bed. Instead of tucking the shoe box completely under, curiosity hit her as the realization that the box was too light to be holding a pair of shoes. Thus, she pulled the object from under the bed and released the letters from hiding.

Some minutes after discovering the letters, Yelan got into her chauffeured car with her grandson and niece. The old, traditional Chinese house of the Elders loomed over them as the car burred up the hill. Yelan surged out of the car before it came to a complete halt. She spun quickly on her feet to reach back into the car and gather the three-year-old in her arms. He stirred in his sleep and finally woke staring at her as she made deliberate strides toward the entrance. His small hand stroked her wild hair that spilled over him. When she felt his touch she looked down at him and met his toothless grin. She didn't smile, but her eyes softened and her hold eased a fraction of an inch. Yelan was able to cool off and turn to check that Meilin held the box in her dainty hands. The young woman's mouth was set in a grim line, she having taken a glance at the horrible things written in those letters, on their way up.

Yelan trudged her way up the few steps and walked through the doors held open to her. She walked down the hall until she met the receptionist at her lone desk.

"To what does the Order owe this surprise visit, Lady?" the girl asked. Yelan bristled at the tone the girl emphasized when calling her lady. Calling her lady gave her a rank, but the way that the name stood out from the rest of the sentence bore significance because it was the tone of "Lady" that stripped her of real power in the household. If she wasn't the biological mother of their leader, she would still be the toy of their games and the center of their ridicule.

Yelan reminded herself of why she was there. She was no longer the center of ridicule or their toy for their manipulative games. That was Sakura's place now, and she would have to fight the way Yelan had fought to preserve her humanity in the eyes of the elders and the rest of the family.

Shifting her grandson to the hook of one arm, she one handedly pushed through the large double doors and entered the meeting room. The fifteen elders sat in a semi-circle around a huge bonfire set in the center of the room. The orange embers were sustained by their combined magic.

The one, who sat on one end of the semi-circle, looked at her. "We expected this unannounced meeting from you today."

Yelan went rigid as she gazed at them, hidden rage reined in. One by one the heads bobbed up to look at her with eyes as cold as a winter storm.

"Do you bring our future leader to this assembly to shield yourself from the ridicule you might receive?" The head inquired numbly.

Yelan waved Meilin behind her forward. "No, I come with him because I believe he is old enough to meet you."

"He won't remember anything spoken in this room," one of them said.

"Why do you bring your son's fiancé?" Another asked.

"I am not his fiancé," Meilin interjected, stepping menacingly forward. "I took care of that deal, years ago."

The elder woman sitting beside the head on his left clicked her tongue. "Unapproved."

Yelan raised her hand to silence Meilin and continued in her calm manner. "My son had this child with his woman. You cannot push an arrangement on my niece and son for the ethical reasons of a man's propriety towards the mother of his child and the woman he loves."

"_You_ woman, outside the Li name, do not understand the woe you bring to our family."

"You're the woe of this family!" Meilin snapped furiously. She was now right beside Yelan. "Don't give us that talk of non existent love and the duties of men and women! We live in the twenty first century, now!"

Yelan heard a pop in her ear and she was certain it was not from the fire. It was the last breaking chain that anchored her mind to the semblance of tranquility that made the popping noise. "You broke our contract signed by magic. You impinged upon our agreement," Yelan accused. There was emotion in her voice, the anger pinched in the edge of the razor words.

Meilin watched her aunt in total surprise. Yelan never sounded unbalanced, but somehow the letters had made the elder woman lose her equilibrium. The tone that the Li elders defined caused an eruption of dormant feelings Yelan was never allowed to express due to maintaining dignity.

"I believe the agreement was to not tell _her_ the family secret if we could name the child."

Wordlessly, Yelan traded Meilin her grandson for the box of letters. At the same moment of the exchange, Sakura came rushing into the room. Her face was blushed with fever as she screamed, "Mother, wait!"

Yelan had already thrown the box into the fire and had to forcefully restrain the sick girl for jumping into the flames to go after those evil, hateful words.

"Meilin, take my grandson and go directly home in my car," Yelan ordered sternly.

Her grandson strained against Meilin's arms as he was carried away from the room. He had missed his mother all day and had never spent a single waking hour in his young life without seeing her for even a few minutes in that hour. Sakura was always there with him, for the game times and the meal times. Just not seeing her for half a day made him restless.

Sakura did not notice him, her baby, at all. She was staring at the flames with a wide-eyed hunger.

"Sakura, take it easy," Yelan murmured, stroking her sweat drenched auburn hair back from her eyes. It took a while for Sakura's shivers to cease. The idea that it was possible the girl was completely healed came to mind, as the gentle scent of her musk reached Yelan's nostril.

"Why? They were the reminders of how wrong these people were. They meant everything because they would be the truth for those who seek truth. My baby was going to get these letters when he was old enough and change this world when he became the next clan's leader. Why did you go and burn them in the evil fire, Mother?" She asked in a choked whisper.

Yelan pulled the girl up beside her, hands remaining on Sakura's slim, weary shoulders. She was trying to comprehend the girl's question when the head spoke to Sakura with apparent apprehension. "You will not address the Lady Yelan as your mother."

"She became my daughter when I took her under my wing without your consent," Yelan snapped.

Sakura gazed at Yelan in utter surprise. She had never seen this side of Yelan before.

Yelan ignored the squeeze to her hand funneling her rage at the elders again. "You broke our promise. In exchange for my grandson as our future leader, you would not bother this family again with lies. Your impingement of our contract is unforgivable!"

"The both of you are outsiders. You are the woe of the men in this family."

"You said that in the letters, too," Sakura whispered. She clung to Yelan's arm. "Why do you keep repeating yourself?"

"Because of the curse; a man of the Li family will meet his unnatural death if he seals his soul to another, not of the same blood, in holy matrimony. That is the curse of our clan," said the elder woman third to the last from the left of the semi-circle.

"That is absurd!" Yelan cried with her voice pitched high. She wanted to cry her tears threatening to fall. She didn't want to remember how her husband died, but the story was on the tip of the elders' tongues.

"Yelan's husband died when a building under construction fell on top of him. His father, who had married an outsider as well, also died during the Second World War when he was dropped on enemy terrain and couldn't release his parachute. Before the soldier, there was his father who had died of third degree burns when he tried to save his outsider wife from a car accident…"

"No!" Yelan wailed, covering her ears.

"Mother, is this true? I thought Syaoran's father died of pneumonia," Sakura said softly.

"If he had died from that, the curse and the wife are still to blame," said the elder man to the head's right.

"No!" Yelan shouted. "It was a freak accident! There's no such thing as a curse! They are all liars."

"You keep telling yourself that to ease your guilt. You know you killed your own husband," said the elder with the gravest voice.

"No!" Yelan choked. "Don't listen to them, Sakura. We don't believe them. Meilin doesn't believe them. Syaoran doesn't believe them."

The head of the elders' voice boomed in the room. "For centuries we have educated the children of this family of the woes outsiders bring to our bloodline. Still, some of our past leaders believe that they could come to terms with the supernatural and test the nature of the curse. We believe he is not bewitched by the woman he chooses to marry, but bewitched by the power of the curse that builds in strength with each death it takes. You are only labeled the woe of our men because you do not take action in changing the course of this curse."

"This cannot be," Sakura murmured in disbelief.

"It was and it will be if you marry Li."

Sakura took Yelan's arm and hurried out of the room. She was never going to look back again. She wasn't even going to look at the entry to the traditional house ever again even if a murderer held a knife to her jugular. Sakura stumbled to her car and took care to put Yelan in the back seat.

A long time into the drive, Yelan realized that they were not returning home. Instead, Sakura pulled beside the road that circled the lake and put her car in neutral before turning the engine off.

"Sakura, why are we here?"

"When I'm upset I come here. I thought I might share this place with you before I go."

"You're not going anywhere," Yelan said in her remote tone.

"Mother… Please…" Sakura choked.

"You don't have to go because of them."

"If they were right and I lost Syaoran, I don't think I can live with myself. What good would I be if my baby lost both his parents?"

"That is absurd. You wouldn't do something like that to my grandson. Nothing will happen to Syaoran or you, I assure you."

"So this was why you kept the Order from me? You didn't want me to find out about the curse and make my own decision?"

"No, I didn't want to ruin our chances of being happy," Yelan relented.

"I've been unhappy for so long because of them." Sakura settled her forehead against the wheel.

"Can you imagine your life without your child and your man? You will be unhappy, then."

"I'm sorry. I can't take my chances."

"Sakura…"

"Mother, do you love me?" Sakura demanded.

"Yes, of course." Yelan's voice was wrought with emotion.

"Then, let me do this."

Yelan didn't say anything as she watched the girl exit her car. Sakura didn't look back as she walked along the beach. She kept walking until Yelan couldn't see her figure in the dying daylight anymore. She must have summoned Illusion and erased herself from the naked eye. Or she must have walked far enough to summon Fly and take the sky under her. Or she must have summoned Wood to stretch a bridge for her to cross to the other side of the lake when she reached an out of sight distance. Whatever happened to Sakura that day remained a mystery because that was the last time Yelan would see the girl again. Even when Sakura came by the house, Yelan could not bring herself to meet and look at the girl that only seemed to be half the mother of her grandson and a mirage of a wife to her son.

_End Notes: Shocked about this chapter's ending? Well, that's why Sakura and Syaoran never married. They should have just eloped, right? No can do because that curse follows them around. If Syaoran doesn't believe in the curse, why doesn't he marry her in secret anyway? If I make that happen then I also murder the suspense. I'm not here to prove whether the family curse is real or not. I'm just writing about the kid and them, so if you have any other pending questions feel free to leave a message. I will do my best to reply back. Also, Review me.^^ _

_Best,_

_MistyWing_


	3. The Son 1

_Good news! Another CCS story is in the making right now. It's a funny story, something that matches my actual mood. This story is just too sad for me, so I had to write something silly. Girlfriend 22 will be out next week. If you're not a fan of trajedies, I suggest you try some comic books and my upcoming story. Please review. Thank you everyone for reviewing the last two chapters. More to come. ;) __-MW _

I was ascending the steps to the private jet when my blackberry vibrated in my breast pocket. I held my phone in my hand, staring at the caller ID for a scant time that was probably a full minute to any outsider looking at me. The thing was I had to stop at the top of the steps between the gaping mouth of the plane, half of me inside and the other half of me outside. My bodyguard, who stopped short behind me, cleared his throat. It was in or out and it was a decision he wanted me to make without having to voice his question. He also indicated that my phone was still buzzing in my hand.

I gave him a short nod and climbed aboard. I made a hurried course to the far back, ducking into the seat furthest away from the front of the plane. I liked to be next to the wet bar and once the attendant arrived, I rather liked the company with him or her. The bodyguard, Mo, assigned to me today was a stiff and believed that talking was a waste of time and breath. If I was quiet, then Mo was mute.

I took a sidelong glance at my bodyguard, who had slowly eased into the two seats diagonal from me. Sensing my stare, he gave me an abrasive look. I couldn't hold the eye contact for long, so I took my call and side-blinded myself of him.

"Hi. Change your mind about coming?" I greeted in a pleasant tone.

There was a low grinding noise that sounded like half a laugh and half a moan. "Not a chance."

"We haven't lifted, yet, so if you want I can come pick you up," I said. I hope I didn't sound desperate, but the child in me wanted him to come with me. Besides the fact that he was my protector and teacher, he was also my best friend. The best friend, who was familiar with the world I was about to visit.

A sigh came my way. "No, thanks. Japan's Spring Season is like hell. Major allergies."

"You prefer this suffocating mugginess?"

"It's not suffocating if I get to stay indoors and watch T.V. most of the day. Thank god for the invention of central air conditioning."

"Then, why'd you call?"

There was a long pause on the other end. I took the time to look out my window and watch the engineer checking something under my plane. He went out and under like a fly randomly flying under the belly of the aircraft. After a span of a minute another static sigh reached my ear and this time it sounded more prolific in emotion. "Are you okay?" He suddenly asked me. I fretted answering that question anyone close to me would pose. The question was like a dull knife working to cut the final bond that attached my sanity to my brain.

Exasperated, I asked, "you ask me this why?"

"Because you haven't been yourself lately."

"Sorry, if I've been withdrawn. It was unintentional," I drawled.

"I can see why; he's gone…"

"Yeah, that's part of it," I said reluctantly. "It takes a while to grasp that fact."

"And you're returning him home, in a sense," the conclusion of the statement rung in my ears like heavy gongs hitting concrete floor.

"In a sense," I repeated with a voice as hard as diamonds. I couldn't see how my father was really returning home if my mother didn't quite accept him in the thirty two years she had gone away. Figuratively my father was going home to the woman he had loved and still loved until he reached his dying days. No doubt, if I believed a land of the dead existed, he would be there, watching over us with his warm amber eyes. He was assessing my actions at this very moment and taking care that I would make my way safely to my mother.

"I can't come, Kid. I've thought about it, but I can't. I rather she came to me when she's ready."

"It can't be that complicated," I groaned.

"It's not, but Sakura made it pretty clear the last time I saw her…"

"And she absolved you of your duties as her guardian," I finished lamely.

He didn't miss a beat as he continued as if uninterrupted, "she distinctly told me that if I stayed with her she would only be reminded of everything she lost. She couldn't stand that pain anymore."

"Yeah, yeah," I moaned. I didn't mean to sound obtuse, but I didn't want to hear him justifying the actions of my mother at this juncture. It seemed everyone who knew my mother wanted to save my mother from the malicious scrutiny of her contemptuous son. That wasn't how it was anymore. I just wanted a break, so I could straighten out my thoughts and figure out what I wanted to say once I arrived.

"Listen, Kid, I'm not lecturing you, because I agree that you're old enough to make your own judgments at this point in your life. For goodness sake, you run your own company and clan, so who am I to press you with such educational facts of life; like taking to heart the circumstances, opening your eyes and ears, or to not be afraid to learn something new?" Blighting sarcasm was the best weapon one could wield.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound vindictive. I appreciate all your advice and take it to heart," I said sincerely.

"Ch, yeah, you better."

"Come on," I coaxed, "how can I make it up to you, oh-great-one."

"Well," his voice became thick and thoughtful, "I did call for another reason."

"That reason probably precedent over your other reason for calling." I couldn't help it. He baited me into teasing. I knew he cared, but it was just too easy picturing him thinking about other things unrelated to our personal lives when our personal lives were at the forefront of attention.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry!" I shouted. Mo glanced once at me, turning away only when I glared back at him. "What is it?" I spoke quietly.

There was a lot of huffing. Followed by a string of inarticulate words entwined with unconfined outrage.

"Come on, tell me what it is," I said hurriedly, glancing at the pilot, who watched me reproachfully. He couldn't take off until all technological devices were shut off. "The pilot needs to leave now if we're going to make it to Tomoeda in time."

"Alright, alright. Listen up if you want to wriggle your way back into my good graces. I miss onigiri that they sold at the red bridge. A middle-aged man used to push his cart out there in the afternoons when the kids got out of school. If he's still alive and in business, he will be there with onigiri at 1:30."

"Onigiri is onigiri. I can just make you some when I get back."

"No! His were different, so just remember to get me a sample."

"I'll get you a plane full if Customs will let it through. How about that?"

"You can do that, Kid?"

"I said if Customs will let it through," I repeated irritably. When he was excited he couldn't hear everything that bellied one sentence. I could just imagine his beady eyes going starry as he savored make-believe onigiri. If he wanted onigiri from this man, I was going to get onigiri from this man because he wanted it. I wouldn't deny him such a simple thing as authentic Japanese food.

"Make sure you try some there. Onigiri is best fresh."

"Okay, Kero," I said with affection before hanging up.

I looked up at my impatient pilot to confirm a go ahead with a subtle nod. And as we took off, my heart became fluffy at the knowledge of what I temporarily was leaving behind. Then, my heart solidified as I saw the unseen of what I was about to face at a distant point where my other half heritage was buried. In a way, I was a gravedigger, but I wasn't uprooting the coffins, I was going to discover the ghosts of my past. Ultimately I would match the pieces of my memories from long ago to what was now the whole moments of today.


	4. Sakura & Syaoran 1

_Hi! Sorry for the delay, but I had to edit out a few words to keep the rating at par. It surprises me how just two or three choice words can change the rating by a half. I doubt I'll be able to finish the story before the start of the new year, but I'm working on it._

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_Curses_. They followed her. They were part of her. They ate at her. The word brought a welling ache to her heart. The thought of her innocent son, at a time like this, allayed her suffering.

Sakura clutched the documents in her unsteady hands. The Daidouji Estate was all hers because of these papers of law that handed everything down to her. The snapping of the lawyer's brief case briefly took her out of her moment of misery, so that she could show the man to the door. He said a few quick words of sympathy before crossing the threshold, "I'm sorry for your lost."

She shut the door on him and wheeled around the room of her brand new unfurnished apartment. _Curses_. She didn't want the land, house, company, or money. They meant nothing to her at the expense of her family. Absolutely nothing. All she wanted to do was get rid of all of it and withdraw from the cruel world… Be reminded only of her baby.

Her cell phone came to life in her pocket, making her jump. She scrambled to pick it up.

"Sakura-chan, your brother and I are going to see Syaoran. We don't know what happened between the two of you, but we intend to find out. For once, I'm actually in agreement with your brother. Syaoran did something and what he's done to you is unforgivable."

Sakura's voice teetered and cracked. "Yuki, he's done absolutely nothing. I just left."

"He's done something. My other half and I are intent on finding out what."

"I've discussed this at length with you. Syaoran didn't do anything to make me leave him," her voice rattled with tears. "Why aren't all of you here when I need you the most?!"

"Sakura-chan," Yukito breathed when he heard the tears and anguish in her voice. "What happened?" He knew her heart because his alter-ego was her bondsman and guardian.

"Tomoyo and her mother…"

"Haven't they been in Hawaii for the past month?"

"Yuki, please… Yue, please… Take the next flight home. I need you."

"We will. Just fill me in on what's happening right now… Touya, look out!" Yukito's voice flip-flopped from soothing to frantic. He screamed her brother's name again.

His shout was drowned by the explosion of crushing metal. The call was disconnected as Sakura's knees gave out. When she realized that no one was going to answer her cries, she crumpled to the floor and waited for the darkness to swallow her whole.

_Cruel, unpredictable curses. They took her family one by one, dropping them like flies. Those curses._ Someone had to be blamed. And she took the blame upon herself no matter what Fujitaka or Syaoran said to convince her otherwise.

Syaoran was on her back as he followed her around the room. She was packing anything of monetary and sentimental value to her into the duffle bag she brought with her as Syaoran fell in step behind her. "What are you doing, Sakura? Where are you staying? Why doesn't your father even know? Just a while ago everything was fine."

"It's been a month since the car accident, Syaoran! It's been over a month since the plane crash! I can't bear it anymore," she complained, breathing heavily.

Syaoran grabbed her by the elbows and shook her. "It was very unfortunate for Daidouji-san and her mother, but there was nothing we could have done for them. As for Touya, he will pull through this. It's going to be alright."

She swatted his hands away, shoving aside the comfort he offered her. "Otou-san and I are pulling the plug off Onii-chan. Life support is doing the exact opposite to him. Onii-chan wouldn't want to live if he knew what happened to Yuk-Yuki…" Sakura gasped, heaving a wave of despair in her lungs.

"That's not a choice you or you're father has a right to make," he tenderly spoke.

"What else am I supposed to do? Why wasn't I a better friend or a better sister?"

"Their deaths were not your fault."

She sniffed, swiping at her tears with her damp sleeve. "Maybe you're right about that, but I'm not intending to stay anywhere near those EVIL people anymore. I'm just a complete mess right now; the last of my defenses have been stripped. There's nothing."

"Do you believe in this curse?"

"I do," she stated firmly.

He was there to prove her wrong. Syaoran gave her a kiss that would avert her belief. Even if she put in her side of struggle, it was a meager attempt to disengage when everything in her fell in perfect order for his tender caress. There was a world with Syaoran that she would never belong in.

Contact broke and she stumbled backwards. Her cold green eyes glanced at him before she turned away again. She went to her knees and crawled under the desk to retrieve the shoe box of her treasures.

"You still love me and it is that love that can beat the curse," he said tonelessly.

"I would be the first in your family," she snarled cynically.

"Second." Syaoran corrected her. "My father's final gift to his wife, who bore him five children, was his legacy. He never wanted to leave us, but it was fate that took him and not the curse. My mother raised us on his faith that life isn't measured in years, but measured in the individual's breadth of love and the length of giving."

"Tell that to the naïve girl I once was," she snapped.

"If you went to them, Kero and Yue would tell you the same thing if you asked them the meaning of life," Syaoran said, snatching her arm to keep her from walking out.

Sakura flinched away from him. "Tell me where I can find Yue," she could not conceal the pain of her lost as her voice trembled. "Only so that I can tell him I love him and not ask him such trivial questions."

Syaoran breathed deeply, stirring the air between them. "Yue was not human, Sakura. Magic disintegrates when it dies. A spell wears off after a while. A flower wilts after a significant amount of time… All of it returns to the earth."

"Sounds reasonable…" Her fingers feathered across his jagged cheek. "Syaoran, know I love you." She reached up to join them in a soft, leisurely embrace. He lost himself in the enticing passion and loosened his hold on her. Sakura always had her way with him, whether it was with words or actions. Once he fell under her spell, his instincts were lost to him. He was trapped when she pulled him into their bed and played doting lover.

"Come," he urged her, feeling the tangled mess of her clothing against his chest. "I promise to love you for eternity."

"You unconditionally have me right here, love," she gestured to her heart as she flashed him her devastating smile.

Syaoran closed his eyes, so that he could feel rather than see her. At that moment he felt the weight on top of him shift. Syaoran's eyes bulged opened as he gazed up at his doppelganger pushing him back and restraining him in the bed.

"Sakura!" Syaoran bellowed as he craned his neck to look at her in disbelief. She was standing at the threshold of the bedroom door, stuffed duffle bag in hand. "I will love you for eternity, Syaoran," she mouthed, blowing him a kiss. The door eased shut and his doppelganger gave him a drooping smile. Then, he too vanished, leaving vapor in the air as reminisce of Sakura's Mirror summon. Once freed, Syaoran stumbled across the room and tried the doorknob, but discovered that it was locked from the outside. He slammed his body into the wood and screamed her name more for his own reassurance than to let her hear his despair.

Sakura blindly charged out of her house to reach the driveway, where her father parked the rental. She saw Fujitaka step out from the driver's side just as Kero and her toddler came bounding down the stairs behind her.

"Mommy?" The boy asked in surprise.

Sakura placed a hand over her mouth when she saw them.

"Sakura! When did you get back? How's your brother?" Kero flew up to her and hugged her around the side of her head. The little beast was in lighter spirits when he saw her. Ever since his brother, the guardian of the Moon, died he was more morose than cheerful even around her son. On the other hand, her son was like a light bulb in the darkest of hours.

Her son clung to her leg like a red ant would hug the bark of a tree. He had missed her too much to voice it out. He much preferred showing how he cared by taking action.

Sakura's hand patted Kero on the head. "I just came back to collect a few things."

"What about that Syaoran?" Kero asked

"He knows I'm here. He knows I'm leaving, now."

"When are you coming back?"

Sakura looked down at her boy. "I don't know, baby. Go play with grandpa while I talk grown-up with Kero-chan."

Her son bounced around the car to jump into Fujitaka's arms. Sakura only got a glimpse of them before turning back to Kero. "Watch him for me while I'm away. Will you?"

"You're leaving for good, so why don't you bring us with you?" Kero queried.

"He is the son of Li. He must stay here with his father."

"Ch, if you ask me, I think you would make the better parent out of the two."

"Kero, I can't."

"Why, Sakura?"

"If I take you or him with me, I will only be reminded of everything I lost."

Kero was astounded by his Mistress's revelation. "You can't be serious about never seeing us again."

"Kero, many people I love have died. Being here just reminds me of the things I don't want to remember. I have given this man a son by luck and that is all I can give him."

"You love him. You love both of them. Now, you sound more and more like those heartless elders!"

She picked a point in the sky and focused her eyes in that direction. "I do not deny my love for them, but Syaoran needs to be dead to me and I need to be dead to him. I cannot wander back here and he cannot enter my life again. Severed ties mean no pain."

"Do you not believe in the power of life and love anymore? What's going on, Sakura?"

"I'm through living in childish fantasy," she said, turning from the sun guardian.

Kero watched as she went over to her son and her father. She bent her head over the boy's head and whispered endearments. The boy smiled and kissed her soundly on the mouth. His mistress drew the deck of Sakura Cards from her jacket pocket and handed them over to her son. Her son delightfully took them and wiggled out of Fujitaka's embrace.

The first mistress of the Sakura Cards had died and the new master was chosen in the simple endowment. The engine of the rental rumbled and Kero checked his sorrow.

Meanwhile the boy plopped onto the asphalt and thumbed through the deck with imminent curiosity. He was in the middle of inspecting each card while Kero hovered protectively over him.

They didn't look up as she disappeared from their lives. Kero was afraid he would just follow and leave the poor boy if he had looked up. His new master didn't look up because he was too young to comprehend that his mother's desertion would impact his life.

"Look, Kero-chan!"

The boy had flipped open a random card in the deck. The toddler's insistent jab with his finger at the card on the floor made Kero look.

"That's Light," Kero told him.

The toddler chuckled. "When the light turns on next time, we will see Mommy again."

"If you say so," Kero sighed, blinking away the dew condensing in his beady eyes. He attempted to lift the boy up, but his cotton paws just slipped off his plump flesh. The child didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, Kid, let's just go back inside, okay?" Kero started flying towards the front door again.

The toddler scrambled to his feet and gathered the Light card in his fist. "Kero, we should wait for the light to turn on. Then, Mommy will see us."

"Look, Kid, your mother isn't ever coming back, so just grow up and accept that!" Kero snapped at the three-year-old. Kero's ferocious look dissolved when he realized what he had just done.

The boy, barely out of his diapers grappled at the harsh words and bit his bottom lip. Kero had never shouted at him before. "Kero-chan," he started sniffling.

Kero hovered around the boy's head like a frantic bee. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Gosh, don't cry, Kid. I didn't mean what I said."

"I won't cry," he finally said. He took another card from the deck and handed it to Kero. Kero looked at it and almost wanted to cry himself. FIGHT stared at him with her fiendish eyes and daunting fists.

"This one is for you, too," he piped gently, handing Kero a second card. POWER in her clown-like-pink glory smirked at him.

"Something tells me I'm going to need both of them to live on this slave plantation," Kero grumbled at the ignorant kid, who was already hopping up the stairs to the door again. The deck of cards was still held firmly in his small grip as he moved forward. Kero drifted over the boy, making sure that he didn't slip and fall on his clumsy way up.

They could both use fight and power to keep them going.

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_Sakura's misery has made her do the unthinkable; she has left her dear Syaoran. Let this be the last sad thing I right this year. Tehe, more sadness to write about come next year._

_M. Wing  
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	5. The Son 2

_Back in the day when dinosaurs roamed the earth, every creature lived and died according to the law of nature. Then, the caveman came along and thought he could right the world by making his own laws to manage his fellow cavemen. Wars were waged for territory and now wars are fought for who knows what! On Memorial Day, the American holiday to honor the fallen in combat, I spent some time thinking about how life would be if we are not as smart as we are. I also think how fortunate we are to still have a place to call home. We work and live day by day. I question if this is actually a means for survival now. I rather be hunting and gathering again as opposed to finding work that isn't there. That's life as I know it._

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**The Son**

Well, as expected my grandfather's home looked picture-perfect from the outside. It was a one family house situated in a suburb that was both peaceful and quiet. The occasional bark of the neighbor's dog and the tweet of a red robin were the only sounds that stirred the tranquility of the neighborhood. The yellow house gave off a charming and friendly air that kind of made the jealousy in me boil over. How come I couldn't have grown up in such a house that exposed this exalting domestic glow? How come I didn't have a house that reminded onlookers of a protected nest? This was a house I would have wanted for my family and myself. A house that would have white drapes hanging over its windows. The porch would be swept and a wooden welcome sign would hang on the front door.

I could make out the silhouette of a lone man by the living room window as he moved about the room. He looked like he was in the middle of spring cleaning. Did I have any right to show up at this man's doorstep to disrupt his pleasant life? I had called him ahead of time, but still, he didn't seem like he entertained many. On the phone he sounded pleasant and composed, yet the sound of a man's voice didn't tell me what kind of man he was.

He may have been my maternal grandfather, but he probably didn't remember me. He would claim he did because I was, after all, the son of his only daughter. As I marched down the pathway I was ruffling through the memories like one would ruffle through old files. I remembered this man's smile, but I could never quite picture his face.

When I reached the doorstep, I heard someone just behind the door. I didn't even have to knock and the door sprang open to welcome me.

"Yes?" The man in an apron asked. He wore the same clear smile in my memory. Now I had a face to match that smile. This man, squinting at me, had aged over the years and his head was completely grey now.

I said something.

When I spoke, he pulled his silver wired spectacles from his apron pocket and placed them over his nose. He stopped squinting and his calm eyes adjusted on me.

At last, he spoke in awe, "You truly are the spitting image of your father."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," I said, scratching my head. "Can I come in, please?"

"Sure!" He opened the door wider to let me in. "Please, don't mind the mess. I'm still tidying up a bit. I didn't expect you so soon." His voice softened and muffled as he walked out of the room. "Have a seat in the living room!" He called from the kitchen.

I slipped off my shoes and set them next to his. I moved in the home like I was revisiting a past that I thought was lost to me. Aside from the broom leaning against the slipping mantle over the fireplace and the mop in its bucket by the window, I think I remembered the room the way it was.

"It's been too long since you've been here," my grandfather spoke as he came in with a glass of iced tea. "It might seem different, but nothing's changed. I don't have any recent photos of your mother due to the fact that she isn't as photogenic as she used to be. Sorry."

"I don't want to see her photos," I supplied lamely.

"I understand how you feel."

"Do you when you don't even know me?" I couldn't hold back the edge in my tone because it was mainly my frustration that took control of my voice.

Fujitaka joined me on the sofa and gazed at me. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep in touch all these years. It's been difficult to keep away, but for the sake of Sakura and Syaoran-kun I had to do what I had to do."

"Keep telling yourself it's for their sake," I grumbled, taking a long gulp of the tea like I was downing hard liquor.

He frowned at me. "I'm afraid the pain never goes away. However, you can't stay mad forever…"

I drank and swallowed. "It's just my luck to be landed in a rift instead of a normal, nuclear family. I'm not particularly angry at anyone, though."

"Me?" he asked softly.

Allaying some of that pissed-off mood I was in by meeting his soft grandfather eyes, I answered with equal kindness, "You just owe me sixty-four presents for missing out on birthdays and Christmases." I gave him a smile as dry as my cup.

"I'll get right on that," he laughed.

"That would mean I owe a few birthday presents to my grandfather," I said.

"Thirty-two," he answered complacently at ease.

"Can we just deduct those to mine and make you owe me thirty-two?" I jabbed.

"I guess. It will make the choosing easier. Sixty-four ideas' a bit excessive."

"I'll cut you some slack if you join me this summer in Hong Kong. My grandmother isn't around anymore and my father just died. The big house is empty now."

"I'll come, but first I think I have to board up some windows. It will be the torrential season when I'm away."

"I'll help," I agreed, my heart smiling.

"I'd love that, but shouldn't you invite your friend in for lunch?"

"Mo? No, I told him to cruise around town and run some errands for me."

"Back in the old days when I knew Syaoran-kun, he did everything on his own. He didn't make his people run around for him," Fujitaka rebuked.

"I don't either. I was just trying to get rid of him for the time being. He wouldn't let me out of his sight until he knew I was safe inside. Some bodyguards take their job too seriously and they just aggravate me."

Fujitaka chortled. "So you gave him some other task to distract him, I suppose."

"Yeah, you got the idea. So what's for lunch?"

We had rice and curry and it was the best rice and curry I ever tasted. I had second and third helpings and my grandfather was delighted with my appetite. We didn't talk much, but we enjoyed the silent companionship.

"Should we call a cab?" I asked as my grandfather stepped off the porch in his orange windbreaker.

"What for? We should walk in such fine weather," he exclaimed.

"Can you make it? It's quite far."

"I'm eighty-seven, but I'm not crippled."

"I wasn't suggesting that you are!" I said in defense.

"Of course not," Fujitaka sniffed. He rubbed an index finger at his nose and led the way.

We walked through the park and crossed the red bridge. I thought I heard the wind whisper my name, but I excused it as part of my imagination. It was a long day and I was certain that the lack of a good night's sleep made it all the more difficult for me to ascertain reality. The wind whispered my name on and on and on…

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_Here's my plan. When I finish this story (very soon) I'm going to write one about war. I'm 100 percent sure about this one this time. Some ideas are forgotten, but I'm actually going to do a complete outline, so I don't forget the plot. Aside from summer classes, I guess I'll be writing until I find a real job that gets me paid. I'll post the next chapter for Ashes next week. Thanks for reading!_


	6. Sakura & Syaoran 2

**Syaoran & Sakura**

The moon was rising and he stood at the balcony, toasting night and party. He was a tidy and amazingly handsome man on the exterior. The ladies were talking about him all night, remarks hidden behind their dainty, jeweled hands. Yet, on the inside, he was a complete disaster; disembodied soul, like someone took a scoop of his humanity and stole it. Right behind his back, his family was saying just how imperfect he was. He knew.

The sound of his child's voice quiet and succinct in his thoughts; "where's Daddy?"

He lowered his head until his upper body dangled over the edge of the railing. There was really nothing more relieving then to just lean a little lower, so that the pull of gravity would take him to hell. There was nothing more he wished for than to be burned for eternity in pits of fires to remind him that the life he had and the life he lived was disillusionment. They could all see him one way or the other, but he knew what he was. Unfit, incomplete, and vengeful. He saw a hole at the end that could swallow him up in darkness and take it all away; miserable living.

The sound of his child's voice worried and noisy in his thoughts; "where's Daddy?"

"Mr. Li, I want to thank you for your donation."

He dropped his glass to the pond below as the intruder stood just behind him. Bloodshot eyes met glittering jaded eyes.

Syaoran wiped his face with the cuff of his sleeve. "How long have you been standing there?" He straightened, pressing his back to the railing when he swung around.

Her voice crackled in the air. It was a different kind of laughter; filled with harshness and bitterness. "You timed the day that we should meet face to face, so you tell me."

He stared at her framed in the glittering lights coming from the ballroom. Her red evening dress flared in the darkness. She took a confident step forward.

"You really outdid it this time. You made a donation so great you finally dragged me out of hiding."

"Damn it all to hell," he grumbled, seeking the moon again.

"Mr. Li, are you a chief competitor or a friend? Quite frankly, I'm not sure I believe in what the tabloids say."

"I'm whatever you make me out to be, ma'am." He turned to her once more. "Why don't you just shoot me, woman? Damn, I don't believe in anything anymore."

She folded her arms over her chest and looked briefly austere. "That isn't necessary. Michael is very upset that you overtook him in this foundation I built. He'll take his anger out on you in a different format."

"Pretty boy is mad that a foreigner like me made a donation to your cause that surpassed his? Believe me, I had no idea he even existed."

"Li, you got your attention with the media tonight. Now, leave us alone."

"'_Us_?' You two an item?"

Her eyes dulled. "No, we are not. I meant leave our two independent companies alone."

"Then, explain the ordeal with the flirting and the dancing all night theme you got going on. You two love birds made your point tonight."

She maneuvered so she took his side. "This is my party and my non-profit organization. You are an honored guest here, but I have the power to remove you from this place if you cannot be civil with me."

He faced her as he spoke, "Sakura, let's be realistic here. I'm the honored guest and you're the esteemed hostess who isn't even in control of her own domain."

She flicked imaginary lint from his coat and tossed him a disdainful look over her shoulder. "Sober up fast, Li. Your speech is in five."

Speech was not possible. There was a heavy lump that Sakura shoved down his throat with just her cold and unfeeling look. She stared at him as if he was a stranger and they had just met for the first time.

Maybe if he talked in a way that told a story, he would come along the lines of a speech. His throat was sore. He wanted another glass of orange juice.

"Thank you for this honor, Ms. Kinomoto," he nodded to the lady in red as she assumed a seat in the audience and he took the podium. "The money that I spent for this foundation-"

"You mean donated," Sakura called from her seat.

"Don't correct me, Ms. Kinomoto." Then, he took the mic from the podium and paced the floor. "Five years," he stated waving his hand with the digits in front of him. "Five years I've collected to give the money to the foundation that educated blind children. I've donated five years of my life to these children who are misunderstood by many."

Sakura was nibbling at her lower lip and twisting a napkin in her frantic hands. Michael laid his hands gently over her fists and Syaoran's inner anger heightened to a boiling rage.

"I am reminded of the years I spent working when I look at my eight-year-old son and admire how children can grow up so quickly even under the conditions. I'm a single father, whose son is my greatest reward. How I see my son is the same way I see these children. I believe in them and I believe that they will develop into caring individuals. I was told a long time ago, by someone I hold very dear, that love is all we need to live because without it we strip ourselves down to only hate. Our children are our future and we must teach them to love."

The women in the front row swooned, but Syaoran continued as if uninterrupted. "My son used to ask for his mother, but as he came to this age he stopped. He didn't forget her, but he just stopped yearning. We can't allow for these poor children to lose their grip on their goals in life. They need the opportunity to thrive and if all of us could help pave the road they cannot see we will walk them toward those life goals."

People were warmed by his words.

Now, it was time to hit them with the harsh reality of these rich, contemptuous idiots. "Some of us have forgotten the meaning of giving and think of it as a race." Syaoran threw a deranged look at Michael. "Some of us take advantage of others with our riches and try to put themselves up in lights. Can you believe it, people? Is this the lesson we want to give our children that the benefit of sharing is fame and glory? That's not what I teach my son. This will not be the world I bring him up in. I am guilty of being self-centered and thus spending for the sake of my soul. Guilty for only giving half the care to my son," Syaoran watched everyone before humbly lowering his eyes. Scattered, confused whispers echoed in the great hall. What was he trying to say in front of the guests and the media?

"People walk in and out of our lives," he whispered into the mic. He ambled towards Sakura, his eyes focused on her pallid face. "But _we_ will never forget them because their everlasting gifts are indispensable."

Sakura jumped from her seat and averted her eyes to the exit of the ballroom. Michael had to drop her hands abruptly. No one, but Syaoran and Michael and maybe some other people nearby, saw her pick herself up and leave. Michael was too shocked to say anything to her and was even more baffled when the speaker shoved the microphone into his chest.

"Um, thank you Mr. Li for that touching speech… I guess…" Michael stammered. His voice became distant and forgotten as Syaoran mounted the ramp to the hotel lobby. He didn't shout at the retreating scarlet figure practically running to the elevators. He just took tremendous strides toward his goal, which was her.

Sakura stepped into the first car that opened to her. Many meters back, Syaoran slammed to a break just as she shut the doors. He glared at the gold doors before pulling the fire doors open and making a mad dash up to the top floor.

In the elevator, Sakura stabbed her hand in her purse in search for her keycard. She was too furious to prepare for the sight of Syaoran standing in the middle of the hall that led to the President Suite. He stood in the center of the hall like a bull ready to charge at her. Sakura stepped out of the car and returned his glare.

"There are cameras. If you lay a finger on me, you're in big trouble, mister."

Syaoran's muscles loosened. She saw how his muscles rippled as he dispelled their tension when he exhaled a slow breath. "I would never hurt you, Sakura."

"You've been harassing me at my home for nearly five years!" She hastened around him to get to her door.

"I never even got a chance to look at you for the past five years until tonight! Does my presence hurt you that much?" He asked softly.

"Yes!" She scrambled with her keycard, but she couldn't find the opening with her trembling hands. She couldn't see either as a sheath of mist covered her eyes.

"If you didn't make that promise to me so many years ago I would have left you alone," he said.

"What promise?"

"You easily forget. Shall we renew our vows tonight?"

Sakura turned quickly to find herself nose to nose with the man she could never bring herself to hate. She stood her ground as the tears began to fall.

"Sakura… You're killing me."

"It's his eighth birthday. You're supposed to be there for him!" She tangled her arms around his neck in a vice grip and buried her face in his suit. Immediately his arms circled her. "I didn't think you would show up if it was his birthday!"

"So that's why you picked this date. You thought I wouldn't come," he spoke thoughtfully and she nodded sharply in response.

"Give me this last night with you and I promise I'll go back to him. I'll never bother you again until the day I die."

She lurched forward, leaning into him in a desperate effort to keep her feet underneath her. "Okay, but you go back to him and you have to be there for his birthdays. Never miss one ever again."

He swept her wet hair away from her damp cheeks and eyes. "I need closure with you before I can devote myself to my job as a full-time parent, Sakura. Understand?"

She nodded rigorously. "Open the door. I don't think I have the mind to get the stupid thing into the hole."

He laughed. Anxiously, he jabbed the keycard into the slot and watched the green light blink on. In the enclosure of her room he whispered in her ear. "If you let me willingly leave, Sakura, I will get the closure I've been seeking all these years."

She clung to him desperately. "Okay, Syaoran. I promise this last time will be different if you promise to leave me alone."

"How should we seal this deal?"

"Don't be cheesy," she sniffed.

He laughed again, his throaty laughter ringing in her ear. "I'm sure you'll be flexible because this is the last time, so…" His forehead met hers as he whispered, "Will you, Sakura Kinomoto, love and cherish me forever?"

"Syaoran, I told you before-"

He silenced her with a loving kiss.

"We're renewing our vows… Just answer the question."

She gave a strangled, "yes."

"You will never ever accept Michael as anything more than a business associate and, if need be, a friend."

"I don't remember our vows including something like-"

He kissed her slowly and sweetly.

She gasped his name when he parted. She took a quick breath and whispered reassuringly, "I will never love a man the same way I love you. I missed you, Syaoran."

"We're renewing our vows," he prompted.

She was trembling and crying. "Will you, Syaoran Li, love and cherish me forever?"

"Oh, yes, I will. I swear it and I'll prove it to you tonight."

The rest of the night, she loved and cried herself to sleep. Then, when she woke to the glow of dawn, naked as a newborn, she felt at her side. She touched the cold sheets and a wave of hurt crashed over her. She stared at the teddy bear watching her as the second round of anguish seized her withering heart. They would both live in denial, but at least they were both sure that they stood on solid ground.

_My heart is yours until the day I die…_

**End notes: I am aware that I made Syaoran jealous, but look on the bright side. At least we know Sakura's heart isn't made out of stone. Please review and I will get the next chapter up by Sunday. **


	7. The Son 3

Their son's POV:

A chill took over me as I stood before Uncle Touya's grave.

_Touya Kinomoto_

_1981-2009_

_Loving son, brother, uncle, and friend_

My grandfather noticed me tremble ever so slightly. "Are you scared?"

"No! I'm not, but that doesn't mean I would be caught dead in this place. God forbid!"

Fujitaka nestled his gentle grandfather hands on my shoulders. "It's okay. You're mother is terrified of ghosts. She wouldn't come to a place like this."

"You mean she has never come to visit her own mother and brother in the cemetery?"

I watched him shrug his withered shoulders. "She comes when someone tags along, but she doesn't enjoy staying long."

"Would she be afraid of Dad's ghost? I am carrying his ghost around everywhere I go."

"She'll make an exception for Syaoran-kun."

I took a little jar from my pocket and sprinkled the contents over the soil of my uncle's grave. My grandfather asked, "Is that…?"

"Dad? Yeah," I sighed. I brought my hands together palm to palm and bowed three times to the headstone. Dad and my prayers were sent to heaven.

"Syaoran-kun wanted his ashes left here?"

I relinquished a letter in my hand and waved it open. He read it, his eyes widening in surprise. "I never thought Syaoran-kun would ever request his ashes to be spread here."

"Believe me I was as shocked as you."

"That poor boy!"

I tucked the sheet in with the bouquet of roses, but Fujitaka stopped me.

"Wait, Touya-kun won't get that note unless we send it to him. We have to burn it right here."

Fujitaka laid the letter down and threw a match to it. I watched the flames swallow the words: _You used to be a bastard, but when you were gone I didn't know what to do anymore. Because of you Sakura left and because of you I realized your importance in my life. I leave a part of myself with you and hope that you can forgive me for not visiting.-Syaoran_

"Syaoran-kun used to resent Touya-kun. I never knew that in the end he did accept Touya-kun. I always just hoped."

"It wasn't his change of heart that shocked me." I scuffed my toe in the dirt and delved deep into my thoughts before saying evenly, "It shocked me that he could say something so truthful and something so emotional."

"When I knew Syaoran-kun he was very emotional. You know the first time he met your mother he attacked her out of anger?"

"You see, that's something I didn't know about Dad. He never really talked about her or Touya or you."

The old man shook his head and rubbed his fingers at the sagging skin between his eyes. "I don't blame him for holding back."

"He cared and loved to his fullest extent, yet he lived as if he was only a shell. That's the way he chose to live, so you better not feel sorry for anything when nothing was your fault," I warned him. "I ran away from home for a spell to get away from those sorry people. From what I recollect you're too wise to take other people's faults and put them on yourself. Don't do it or I might just be irritated with you, too."

He gave me a wry smile and threw his arms up in surrender. "Okay, I place no blame upon myself," he promised, giving his left breast a light pat.

"Good," I snorted. "Now, let's go get onigiri."

"Kero-chan used to love the ones that were sold on the bridge!" He exclaimed as he glanced at his watch. "It's about time."

We retraced our steps back to the red bridge or at least I did. I wanted to remember this path by carefully embedding the path in my memory piece by piece. Fujitaka was probably so accustomed to the trail he didn't realize the significance of the area anymore. I had to slow down because I was fearful that if I did not take all this to memory I would forget it. What if I never walked this road again? What if I never came back to the grave of my uncle and grandmother? What if I forget my other half that belonged here as well? What if I couldn't commit anything to memory because I was far older than the last time I saw them when I was three? What if…

"Are you coming?" He asked from up ahead.

I had unknowingly stopped dead on that trail.

"Um… Yeah."

"What's the matter?"

"It's just that I feel I can't leave this place behind."

Tawny eyes glowed like the setting sun. I could just stare into their warm depths without being afraid of burning or going blind. "Don't worry. We'll be back." He said.

I jerked my head away from his tawny eyes and saw the man rolling his cart across the bridge. He stopped on the other end and pulled his beat up chair from the bottom of the cart. He moved slowly, but as he settled behind his cart I knew that this was his station for all time. It was his specific station at this hour until his work was done. It would be his only station until he couldn't work anymore.

My father's amber eyes came to mind. My vision was swimming, but it came to a stand-still when my grandfather wrapped his weathered hand around my shoulder. "What's wrong?" He asked again even though I knew he knew that I knew I was just saddened by the fact that my dad was really gone. So was Yelan. So was Touya. So was Yue…

"The good memories make it easier for all of us. Remember them just the way they were and everything will be alright."

"I remember Touya and Yue, but I won't ever see them again like I see you."

"That's true, but when our time arrives we will all be reunited in a different place."

I felt like a big, fat, cry baby. When did I ever become so sentimental? The old man selling onigiri looked at me as I approached. He seemed so stable to me. He was stationary, lucky for him. I wasn't anything like him. I was tossed about from one place to another because my duties disposed of me in this way. However, because this man, uncle Touya, and my grandfather were stationary in my mind and heart, it made it easier for me to move in any direction. I felt it, then. The ice around my own heart was melting for a chance for anything to enter it.

"You want two, Sakutaro-kun?"

"Yes, please," I stated enthusiastically. I told myself that I would have to return with a wagon for a whole cartful the next time around. Maybe I should have warned the onigiri man…

That's all for today. It's really short, isn't it? And did I just finally give their son a name? The suspense is all over folks. I decided to give him the same name I gave S & S's son in _Foreseen Prodigy._ I took down that unfinished story about a decade ago, so don't bother looking for it on my account. Okay, there's only one last chapter to go. So spend the next few days reviewing me and I'll update when the sun comes out.


	8. Final Chapter

**Final Chapter**

Somebody tapped on her door.

Head immersed in her files and eyes transfixed on blocky words she called "come in" in her recalcitrant voice.

Taro, her bodyguard, opened her door and stood on her threshold. His shoulders completely filled the doorway. "Your father just pulled in the driveway, ma'am."

She lowered the papers and folders and started sifting through her drawers. "Oh. Give him what he wants."

"Is that all?"

"Tell him I'll come down to see him in a minute."

Taro left without another word. For another few minutes she worked, as if nothing had previously disrupted her. Half an hour later she wandered to her window and watched as her father and Taro walked back out onto the driveway. Unblinkingly she observed Fujitaka waving politely at Taro before moving into his car. The security guards out front opened the gates for him. He honked at them and slowly drove out. She continued watching him drive up the street and then make that corner turn that dropped him from her view. As her mouth drifted in a solitude smile, she pulled the purple curtains over the window and settled back in her chair.

A heavy knock fell on her door again.

* * *

I stood beside my grandfather as we both bowed to the man who took us in.

"Taro-san is your mother's bodyguard," Fujitaka explained.

Taro's eyes widen as he gaped at me. He made a great real-life of Munch's _Scream_ only more humanlike. "That woman has a son?" That fact blew the man's mind away.

"Sakutaro-kun and his father are here to speak to his estranged mother."

Taro glanced at the urn under my arm and gulped. I almost felt sorry for how my untimely arrival into my mother's home could cause him this subterranean distress and traumatizing disbelief, but then, why should I be? He easily put together the story in his head and I was disinclined to correct him for reasons of my own. I could not forget that edgy glance I kept receiving from him. Such a look made me want to pat his shoulder and offer a subliminal, "there, there."

Fujitaka stooped to take off his black shoes and I followed suit with my shoes. Then, Fujitaka led Taro and I around the house as if he was the master of this enormous domain. There was no doubt that Sakura's home was also a temporary home for the elderly man when ever he set foot in the mansion. "Taro-san is new around here. He doesn't know the Sakura we remember."

"This is worse than the first job interview at sixteen. It's even more awkward, to boot." It was a proclamation I never even made to my father when he had been alive. Everyone that day, who had seen me, thought I had been the model of confidence and not what I had really been to myself, the bucket of scattered nerves.

My grandfather chuckled, his silver hair bouncing out of his warm tawny eyes. "You have a knack at bringing out the best in people. I haven't laughed like this in ages."

"You probably haven't cried in ages either," I whispered, setting Dad down on the coffee table and looking at Fujitaka through sober hazelnut eyes.

Fujitaka took off his silver glasses and set them beside Dad. He cast me a somber gaze. "Yet you're the best thing that can ever happen to me after thirty-two years."

"Second, since you still got Mom. Third if you count Uncle Touya; the memories keep the ones gone from this world alive in our hearts. I'd say, fourth if you extend the time frame and include Nana."

Fujitaka laughed again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He reached out and hugged me. I met him half way. Poor Taro must have felt left out as I looked at the discomfited man over Fujitaka's shoulder. There was no consoling this guy whom I didn't know and couldn't possibly start to know.

My grandfather and I stayed in the Great Room. We were served hot tea from the staff people. I felt impersonal to the workers and I couldn't even bring myself to thank the girl, who had waited on me. Too much of my mother occupied my thoughts.

Before I knew it, my grandfather Fujitaka was standing from his arm chair and looking out the window. "Well, look at the time. I must be off. You stay here." He said, moving toward the doorway leading out of the room. Taro heard his footsteps and suddenly appeared to escort the elder. "I think I best be off," he repeated to the guard.

The guard nodded at me, and the inquiry died on his lips when Fujitaka interrupted him gently, "Sakura will take him under her wing." The guard looked at me, not at all caring to hide his feelings on the most expressive visage I would ever see on any bodyguard. He was still perplexed and astounded by the idea that his employer's flesh and blood occupied the same room as him, no doubt.

"Just take the stairs up. Her room is eight doors down to the right. Sakutaro-kun, take care in calling me after you've talked…" Fujitaka said in a soft voice that reminded me of molasses. Watching him walk away was a harsh reality. If only I had known him longer than the last twelve hours. I was sure I could hang on and love him like I loved my paternal grandmother.

After he left and I was mounting the stairs like a robot I thought to myself, what an idiot I was becoming. Of course I loved my grandfather. Distance and time probably separated us for several years, but that didn't truly matter. What mattered was finding each other and finding that nothing could break certain ties formed by destiny. We shared in equality of being spurned by a person we love and this commonality needn't be voiced. It just strung us closer together.

The deafening silence in the upstairs corridor was maddening. I was so relieved when the engine of my grandfather's beat-up Subaru broke the silence, I sighed. It was an excruciating journey to the unknown. I was going to see her face again after all these years. As I took each purposeful stride, I had to keep telling myself that this was all too real. That the face I would catch was no longer wistful dreams or wishful thinking. Sakura was right behind door number eight. I knocked, prepared to open the door to the end of my journey and the start of a new one.

I opened the door and I saw her with her red hair, graying at the tips and graying at her ears. She wore black rimmed glasses over deep green eyes. Anybody seeing her would just see an old lady, but someone like me or Dad would note the beauty that was underneath her age. It was something indescribable, warm, and an opinion altogether. One always saw his own mother in a different light and in a different aspect. She was beautiful then and she was beautiful now.

I opened the door and she saw me. Can you believe that the first word she utters, after over thirty-two years in hiding, was my dad's name? I hugged the urn that held Dad closer to my side as I said to her reproachfully, "No, it's your son."

"Saku-tan?" She muttered. "My son? My baby?"

"Surprised to see me here?"

"Yes! I mean, how did you know to find me here? Did your grandpa bring you here?"

"Meilin should have called you to tell you I was coming."

Sakura turned from me, waving her hand dismissively. "Oh, she was calling me to let me know you were on your way here? I didn't know. Sakutaro, why would you want to see me when I left you so long ago?"

"He was like that, too. When I was around he would wave me aside. When important calls from family came, he made them leave a message, but never got back to them."

"Who?" She asked.

"Dad!" I snapped impatiently.

"Oh." I couldn't believe she was recalcitrant at a time like this, which made it even more difficult for me to break the news to her. "How is your father?"

Screw it, I thought vehemently. "Dead and here he is," I said, shoving the urn to her desk.

I didn't mean to make her faint, but faint she did. I caught her before she fell out of her chair. I was terrified that I might have killed her from the way I announced the news. Taro brought the smelling salts to wake her as I stood off to the side and watched. When she woke, her startled gaze instantaneously darted to me.

"Leave us, Taro."

"But ma'am, I really think we should take you to the hospital just to double check." "Get out!" She ordered.

He left without another retort.

"Nice. Take out your rage on the poor man who's concerned about you," I muttered. I still had my sight on the door. I had half the mind to follow Taro's path.

She started hyperventilating and I had to take her elbow and ease her head back into the couch. I made noises to sooth her and surprisingly it worked.

When she caught her breath she finally asked me, "how?"

"Cancer."

"He died anyway…"

"Don't be stupid. There is no such thing as a curse. People die when it's their time."

I was thinking about the millions of things I wanted to tell her that I told many others already; like how I was engaged to my college sweetheart or that Fujitaka was staying with me this summer… There was so much to disclose, but I knew now was not the time to chat. She was my mother and she would listen, but such things should wait. The woman was grieving and I felt hopeless. I tried to walk her around to relieve her stress. When that didn't work I tried bringing Dad over to her. She wept harder over Dad and I felt inept at her side. It was in my nature to beat myself up when someone in my presence cried. I had to be the one to blame if I couldn't ease her pain. I kept thinking until the idea came to me.

I reached under my shirt and held the leather strap that hung around my neck. Slowly, I drew the sword pendant from the safety of my cotton shirt and whispered the incantation under my breath. A subspace opened underneath us in the room and a silver gust took us both in its embrace.

My mother finally took her face off the cover of the urn and looked into my face with twisted grief and relief. I watched her closely, waiting for her to say something, but she didn't, not even after the wind died and the subspace disappeared and I was holding the shiny sword in my hand.

I tried on a smile that made her cry all over again. I think I can understand her pain and joy. I was beginning to feel them, too, like we were sharing them. We probably were sharing the pain, the joy, and closure, tasting them together. The most intimate bond between a mother and her child was found in this moment, in which our minds told each other the whole truths. We shared our hearts' desires, needs, and wants, through an indiscernible telepathic and supernatural connection of the spirits.

We bridged the gap in this first meeting and I was reading her thoughts through her eyes as if they were opened windows to her soul. When I saw what she wanted, I twisted the air between us and split the pocket of subspace with my fingers. I drew out two Sakura cards from the pocket and murmured their names as I did so.

First Bubbly burst her rainbow filtered orbs into the room. Then, Glow drew a glittering dust over us. They both poured the delightful bubbles and lights over us like falling rain. The woman in front of me changed, her expression growing childlike even as the crow's feet around her eyes expanded and the lines on her forehead and mouth widened. She laughed as she set my father down on her desk again. For a moment she looked up at the ceiling as if she looked right through it to see the sky. The tear streaks on her face were illuminated by the light refracting against the bubbles.

When she turned to me, she looked at the space I had opened with my fingers. This space that I had made was only seen by me. It was some heavy magic that I discovered as a child and a place I held the prized possession that was given to me by my mother. No one had ever seen this space, not even my father, and that wasn't because I hid it from their eyes, it was the magic. Once again there was a newer connection forming between us and this bond was forged by magic, not blood.

I watched, unblinking, as my mother reached into the pocket and drew out another card. She flipped it over and stared at it for a moment before handing it to me.

"Should I believe it?" She asked, more to herself than to him or to me.

"The Sakura cards never failed me," I said austerely.

I turned the card over and gazed at it. A sharp, but very potent squeeze took my heart as I looked at the card. What did I see? A sleepy face smiled at me as her feathered wings folded around a narrow heart. Then, underneath the featured angel embracing the heart I discerned _HOPE_.

**FINE**

MW: Ok, how was it? Sorry for any typos, but my gut was telling me to wrap things up tonight. I could really, really use some feedback. I want to improve in my writing instead going the other way. Maybe your reviews will egg me to write more? I haven't been writing as much this summer compared to my other two summers. It has to be the new job and school (NEW JOB TO GO WITH MY DEGREE! YES! BIWEEKLY PAYCHECK IN THIS AGE!). With those things in my life where do I find my equilibrium and write? I'll still be writing, mind you, though I'll be slow on the updates and you might hate the hiatuses. Lots of love.


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